Getting back on track...

I've had a heavy heart and a lot on my mind this week. My mom left Tuesday and I think that left a hole in my heart making me miss my family and close friends so much than normal. For those of you that don't know my family, you are probably wondering how one person can be so obsessed with their family. Well, come hang out with us all for a day...you'll understand I promise. I wouldn't say I'm homesick, because it's not Vermont I miss--I miss the crazy family that isn't in Colorado. I think with me working from home full time I have more time to miss people and things and more time to get down on myself. We all get caught up in finances, bills, jobs and life in general--it just seems to be weighing on me a little extra lately due to the enormous amount of stuff we're trying to cram into the year before our wedding. 

I've failed at alot of goals I set this year, but the year isn't over so I guess it's time I get back on track....


I need to accomplish my half marathon goal and start getting my butt into wedding shape. I gotta work on me and spend some time on me. 


Spending less and staying home more is something John and I both fail at. But we have so many friends here that are always doing stuff and invite us to join them and well....we suck at saying no even if we have a dinner at home planned. John and I do a good job at writing out our budget and planning, but we're really bad at sticking to it, that's gotta change. Another thing is that with me working from home...I feel the need for socialization, John can't always listen to me ramble. 


Stop planning life's fun and just have fun--i've failed at this so far this year but i'm getting back to my plan. (I'm talking about the small fun stuff in life, I don't want to have to plan that stuff) Until this stage in my life (living in Colorado) my friends were always the care free friends that I didn't have to plan to do things with, things just happened. Well, for the most part that's not the same anymore...I find my friends here wanting to plan stuff out in every detail and truthfully it stresses me out! I need to get back to flying by the seat of my pants and do stuff on a whim. By planning I find myself signing up for way too much and then not wanting to do it, which causes people to be angry (it's not a great method). It all goes into enjoying the small things in life. I want to laugh more and stress less. I don't laugh as much anymore, and it's not okay. Some days I miss my days of working at Applebees when what was to come once work was over was never known--and we always we're up to no good for the most part, but it wasn't planned and I loved it. There is alot to be said for spontaneity. The words "live like you were dying" come to mind and that's what I need to get better at. 

Take the time and spend the time with those that mean the most to me. Whether it's a phone call to my grandparents, sending a just because card to my sister and brother in law in Florida or to just sit down and talk to the friends I maybe haven't spoken to for awhile....I need to do it more often. The people I don't talk to enough are sometimes the people that mean the most to me...and I hate that, I hate that I let that happen! Life happens I know, but we all have phones and e-mail these days! 


Anyways...


I would LOVE to add a bunch of pictures of my family and friends here but, my laptop fried a while back and I haven't quite gotten my hard drive recovered yet....so well, I leave you picture less and with a long rather boring post. But as a girl, I feel better when I write things out. So forgive me. But you all just got to get to know me just a little bit better, consider yourself lucky ;)